Through the articles below, I share some knowledge I gained from 2005 — 2009 from personal experience, reading and conversations with dozens of individuals. Some articles were cathartic: they helped me express my anguish with the legal system in USA that encourages conflict without caring much for human feelings.

My Personal Story

In 2001, I had a “love marriage” after two years of courtship. The marriage blossomed for three and a half years. Then slowly, the weather changed to the extent that in 2007, deep love had transformed into great conflict. We were embroiled in a highly acrimonious divorce case in California. During the process, my daughter moved to Illinois with her mom. Thus I lost contact with my daughter whom I loved dearly.

From 2007 onwards, I met dozens of people on a 1-1 basis, forming friendships of the kind that I had never experienced before! The basis of these friendships was not academics or common place of work. The basis was empathy, support and sharing of personal life experiences. At the same time, my reading shifted to meditation and spirituality. I started praying. The most potent activity that helped me remain calm and tranquil was the 10-day Vipassana meditation camp. I started helping others in difficult life situations; sometimes, I went overboard and got emotionally impacted. I also started devoting time to modular origami models — each model requires two to twelve hours of patient diligent work. I also attended many parties and get-togethers, making myself useful by becoming the ‘official photographer’ every time. And I started expressing myself through a blog where I wrote articles on Meditation, Modular Origami, Music and Puzzles.

An insight I gained: the Western legal system is centered around Hammurabi’s principle of ‘an eye for an eye’ while Eastern traditions are grounded in Gandhian principles like ‘showing the other cheek when you are slapped on one’. The choice is between retaliation and forgiveness. Such choices emerge only during tough times and shape one’s character.

On the whole, coping with the loss of my child while wading through the quagmire of acrimonious court proceedings helped me grow in many dimensions. Such positive changes would not have happened otherwise. During my journey, I was helped by over thirty individuals in one way or another — I am deeply indebted to all of them.